Humans are of a sensitive nature. We smile, become sad, or get angry because of certain things. We also learn about our tolerance level of what we like and do not like into different categories.
A wide tolerance level means you can tolerate other people’s opinions much easier. Having a wide tolerance level also makes it tougher to stay true to yourself.
Likewise, people with narrow tolerance levels understand their values much deeper, but connecting with those that have different values, compared to themselves, becomes much harder.
When we have a decent tolerance level, we become much more fun and acceptable.
How? Let’s start with the basics.
The fundamentals of understanding your tolerance level begin with why. Not “Why they think this way”, but more importantly, what makes “the why” their final conclusion.
Note that this has nothing to do with having many or little friends, but more of trying to find the circle of people that you can live with.
Learning your tolerance level begins with more listening and less talking.
If I disagree with something, what happens?
When you come across someone that speaks of something that you disagree, figure out what makes the “thing” disagreeable first instead of reacting to it.
Most of the time it’s just emotionally biased. You probably won’t find the answer and that’s okay. It means you have nothing to disagree about!
And if the light sometimes isn’t that bright, I would just ask why in a non-aggressive manner.
Is it because of their experience that makes them say it this way? Or was it simply influenced by others (like the media)?
Once you understand the reason for the “thing”, you become a lot less defensive. Additionally, you might even learn a thing or two!
Having a Decent Tolerance Level
It takes a lifetime of experience to understand what your level of tolerance is. An easy step of knowing your tolerance level is by staying on the offense instead of the defense.
When you’re on the offense, you’re always trying to understand their reasoning and not defend yourself from theirs.
For me, I categorize my tolerance levels into mental boxes. If the “thing” that I disagree with doesn’t change my feelings whatsoever, it goes in the “Neutral” box.
If the “thing” makes me happy, I’m sure this goes in the “Toleratable” box and vice versa.
Over time, your tolerance level grows stronger (not wider or narrower) the more you practice in knowing what makes you tick and what makes you happy.
If you have learned something today, let me know in the comments!